Count Your Blessings (Let's just say I stopped at 133)

God, thank you for joy,
quiet giggles
soft music
deep voices
humming birds
rhythm
butterfly kisses
eye lashes
little girl hugs
little boy hugs
pink cheeks
little hands to hold
big hugs
warm hearts
soft strong hugs
rest
too many tears in worship
warm sun on my face
God's favor
times of refreshing,
warm spring rain,
swimming in the ocean,
bubbles lifting up to the blue sky
glistening water,
bubbling streams,
warm breezes,
the sun sparkling off new fallen snow,
the shape of a snowflake
bare tree branches painted white on the snowy side,
birch trees in the winter,
snow bunnies
pink puppy noses
arctic wolves,
sea lions and their large sad baby eyes,
the eyes of innocence,
the eyes of love,
the eyes of the aged (old and wise).
An old man singing,
the wrinkles in my grandmothers hands
the wings of a blue bird,
zippers,
sunrises,
sun sets,
galaxies,
the milky way,
aurora borealis,
the surface of the moon,
the hope of a child,
dreams,
faith,
salvation,
my children,
my home
my husband,
dear friends,
my job,
my car,
my office,
my bible,
wood floors,
sandy beaches,
green leaves,
red leaves,
yellow leaves
crunchy fall leaves
spring green,
magenta,
bubble gum,
writing,
guitars when they strum low,
the heart beat of my unborn children,
running my fingers through their hair,
washing baby faces,
putting babies to sleep,
Praying for friends,
praying for children
praying for those I love,
those who hurt me,
those whom I've hurt,
those who I hope for,
those who others do not hope for.
Thank you God for sea weed,
creatures that never see the sun that are white,
bats (that eat bugs),
stars,
skunks,
flowers,
beetles,
worms,
fish,
seagulls,
star fish,
the shape sunflower seeds make as they grow,
the taste of milk after cereal sweetens it,
the taste of my fingers after I eat Cheetos,
thank you for the taste of ham with pineapple and currents,
gingerbread cookies,
and tea,
thank you for how they remind me of my grandma,
thank you for my pastor,
for my elders
for my mentors,
for those who went before me
for those who prayed for me,
believed in me invested in me,
hoped for me
and encouraged me.
Thank you for my mom and dad,
for the mistakes they made that helped me grow,
for the things they got right that I strive to emulate,
thank you for fingers that type,
a mind that sees visions,
and ears that hear melody,
thank you for color,
for touch
for bumpy braile (for those who cannot see)
for sound waves (to feel for those who cannot hear),
for taste
and your spirit to quicken our heart
thank you for words,
oh God I love words.
Thank you for smiles when no one is around
for joy so powerful I weep,
for love so strong it hurts
for your spirit so compelling
and so real
I feel your touch
and hear your voice.
Thank you for loving me,
oh God thank you for loving me
calling me
saving me
and never letting go of me.
And so many more things
too many to mention,
so let me return often to thank you regularly.
As often as you give,
I owe you an eternity of thank you's.

How do I know God loves me?

It's too easy to say:

For God so loved the world,
He gave His only begotten Son...

Because that's how I know He loves the world.
How do I know He loves me?

I used to sing: "Jesus loves me this I know
for the Bible tells me so"
but dose it really and where?

Well, David said:
"God places the lonely in families'
he sets the prisoners free
and gives them joy."

Isaiah prophesied:
Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

And in Romans Paul said:
But God shows his love for us in that while we
were still sinners, Christ died for us.

These are all really good words,
but there was a time when
I didn't know they were true,
I only hoped they were true,
I wished they were true,
I dreamed they were true,

until I asked God to come live in my heart,
and then I felt His love.
He taught me His love.
And He changed me
and gave me His love for others.

Jesus said: Behold, I stand at the door and knock...
(He desires us to open the door and let him in.)

If a person didn't believe in God,
what a great test!
Nothing would happen.
Or everything would happen.
You see God takes our hope,
He takes our wishing,
and longing,
and gives us so much more than we had imagined
or asked for!

We get more than our sins forgiven
(and that is big!)
We get more than our eternity to spend in Heaven
(and that is incalculable)
We get to live with God now!
We get to have Him as a part of our life now!
We get to enjoy His love now!

He comes in when we invite Him,
and He forgives and cleanses and teaches us
and He gives us His love,
and imparts His love for others into our heart.

Now our past leaves our mind riddled
with the voice of family, "friends" and teachers
who have crushed our self esteem,
and we may still hear those voices.

They may try and discredit the Voice of God
that whispers His love to us.
But as we read His Word (the Bible)
and hang out with other believers,
we learn to hear and distinguish God's Voice.

We get to experience a new identity
(one that is being transformed daily into the image of Christ).

And then we get to know
His great love for us
more each day,
until One day,
when we see Him face to face
and our faith becomes sight
and we get to spend all time,
together with the Lover of our soul.
God Himself.

What does it mean to be a "living sacrifice"?

Therefor, I urge you, brothers and sisters,
in view of God's mercy,
to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice,
holy and pleasing to God-
this is your true and proper worship.

Father,
if you desire my life (lived out)
as a gift of gratitude (worship)

I want that.

I almost can't help it
(when I focus on Your Truth)
it's beauty changes me,
it's truth compels me,
to surrender.
It's beauty births
humble gratitude.

It's not in this place of surrender (to your love)
that I ever struggle to be a living sacrifice,
it's when I walk back into my daily grind,
my family,
job, and home.

It's when I am confronted
with those you desire me to love most,
to have the most influence on,
that I struggle to live out this life of gratitude,
because they are not as perfectly loving as you.

They are not perfect at all.
They are nice enough,
but their sin hurts me,
their selfishness takes from me,
their love uses me,
and I feel robbed of my strength,
I feel my strength is not enough,
I feel unable to meet their insatiable needs.

So I come back to you,
for filling up (on a good day)
on a bad day,
my pride stands up and says "No more!"
and I get angry,
and I feel used and feel selfish.

God, I want to stay reliant on you.
I don't have enough strength for everyone,
I do have what you want me to give them though,
if I stay connected to you.

You said no one can bear fruit alone,
he must stay connected to the vine.

It's like a hose expecting to give  water
with out being connected to the faucet.
To be a living sacrifice,
is to acknowledge we are just a hose.
(Not the source of water).

To stay connected to the (never ending supply)
and not so much admire the thirst quenching water,
or the covering that delivers the life giving gift,
but to adore the giver and stay in a worshiping attitude,
while He pours through us.

To seek to give rather than receive,
and to love rather than to be loved.
To seek to feed others,
rather than being feed
and to spend ourselves on behalf of others
(just as Jesus does)
this is a living sacrifice.

God allow me to keep my focus,
and to so enjoy fellowship with you,
that I never let go through out my day
and live a life surrendered to your will,
purposes and power.
I live for this.
I die for this.
God be glorified.
Amen

Why confess?

I remember when my children were small
telling them if they told the truth
they would be in less trouble.
I knew what they had done.
The evidence was all over their face and hands
shirt and pants and had a path back to the
point of disobedience.

It's like that with God.
He knows what we've done
so why confess?

Because the trail of mess is not
confined to the floor, our clothes and face.
The trail of sin
has sullied our heart and mind as well.

It clouds our thinking,
darkens our countenance
and taints our vision.
Worse, it puts dissension
between us and God.

But why?

Because God loves us so much,
He sent Christ
to separate us from our sin.

To heal us from it,
to forgive us for it
and to wipe it's stain and damage away.

And He loves Jesus too much
to have His sacrifice
be given in vein.

When we carelessly, willfully or causally sin,
we reject His gift.
We say: "No thank you!
Sin is better!
I want sin more!"

So why confess?

1John 1:9  says: If we confess our sins
He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins
and cleans us from all unrighteousness.

OK, so we confess to be clean and forgiven right?
Not exactly.
John further says: "I have told you these things, so that you will not sin,
but if you do sin, we have an advocate before the Father,
who is Christ the Lord."

You see our fellowship with God
(who is light and in whom there is no darkness)
is so precious that we want to keep it,
stay in it,
walk in the light of it,
and we cant bring our darkness into that light.
So we must be washed and forgiven
to enter into it!

We confess so we can stay there.
In the sweetness of fellowship with God.

We are literally like the toddler who has a dirty diaper
who runs away from being changed.
For fear of being exposed,
or embarrassment,
or because of pride?!!

We don't even feel right to be in the room with others
while that stench surrounds us!
So our attitude is tainted and our mood is darkened.
God graciously makes a way for us to
be except-able again.
Why would we not come to Him and let Him cleans us?

God, would you bring me often into the sweet fellowship of confession.
Just the act of you cleansing and forgiving is so loving on your part.
Thank you for all you lived and all you suffered,
to wash me and heal me and separate me
from my sin.
It is against you fore-mostly that I sin
and Lord, where I have been a stumbling block to others,
oh, God forgive me for that sin as well.

That I would separate another from fellowship with you,
is so careless and cruel.

God search my heart
and know my thoughts,
and see if there are any offensive ways in me
and lead me in the way everlasting.

If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

Fellowship with God?

"That which we have seen and heard we declare to you, that you also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ."—1 John 1:3.

Fellowship-God wants it with me!?! 

Unbroken communion

unhindered togetherness

unspoiled bonds

sweetness of sharing

fragrance of each other

bonded

mingled

new creation

best fit

right tool

efficient partnership

trusted companion

shared secrets

unspoken requests known

finished sentences

honored in absence

joint edification

reciprocal adoration

guarded honor

shared vision

shared purpose

shared strength

weaknesses covered

adored

one

tears of joy

complete love

complete joy

complete peace

a soul companion

God wants this from me

God wants this with me

God provides this for me

God calls me to this

God enables me to be wrapped up in this.

I am loved

I am safe

I am His.

We are loved.

We are safe.

We are His. 

1John 1:3 We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.

God's favorite

I feel like I'm God's favorite.

“Wow!”

(You might be thinking)

“That's pretty presumptuous of you”

But let me explain.

I heard someone explain

(after their Mother died)

that they always felt like their Mom's favorite.

After all the children gathered,

they all expressed the same feeling,

and became aware,

that their Mother had a gift for giving love

in such a powerfully personal intimate manner,

that each child felt like they had been the closest

to their Mother's heart.

I heard this story early in my Motherhood

and kept it as my ambition,

to always love each child

(as if they were the only one

as if they were my favorite).

God has that gift.

His love for me,

the way He speaks to me,

the way He comes to me,

the way He reveals Himself to me,

the way He protects me and keeps me close,

all make me feel highly favored by Him,
makes me feel like I'm His favorite.

I am totally aware that He gives this invitation

(for passionately personal intimacy) to all His children.

I'm not just aware of it,

I believe it's imperative as His child that I enjoy this benefit

in such a way, that I invite others to come in to the same unity with God.

I also believe (not only am I an invite-er or a minster of reconciliation)

but I believe it's God's passionate desire that all of His children

would come deeper,

would look higher,

would surrender more

into the heart of God.

Into their relationship

with God,

so they would know they are God's favorite

as well.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock,

if anyone hears my voice

and invites me in,

I will enter and sup with him

and he with me.

We don't just get to have supper with Him.

He also says:

take my yoke upon you and learn from me.

He wants us to work right beside Him

and listen to Him

and learn His ways.

He said His blood was like wine

and His body like bread

because He wanted 

the seal of our cleansing

and union with God to be part of us,

to bring us joy

and give us strength

in our life.

The prayer He prayed for us

expressed His longing for 

such intimate relationship with us

that we would literally be ONE with

Him and with the Father,

even in the same manner Christ is

one with the Father.

You can't get more favored

more intimate in a relationship

than that.

Turn your face to the Father

Turn your face to Jesus

Turn your face to the Holy Spirit

and surrender your all,

your everything,

and receive the union with God that He desires,

be God's favorite.

Amen  

A dear friend asked me what "Miss Kim" likes (my daycare name).

I wrote something today (inspired by you): What does Miss Kim like? Quickly I answered “ART!”, but as I contemplate the query I felt, as usual, the quick answer did not dignify the full truth, so I gave it some thought. I let it challenge me (I love to be challenged!) so that, should go on the list! I like and love so many things: I like to be challenged, I love art, creating (with anything at hand): music, paintings, jewelry, cookies, sewn pieces and with new elements come new creating, new creations, I love writing, teaching, listening, learning, I love children and how they soak up love without reserve, I like hello kitty (I think it's a throw-back to my little girl self), I like to take long rides on my Harley, I love the sun-set, the sun rise, the sun in my eyes (I close them and tilt my head back and just soak up the love and favor of God) I love the Lord, I love my family, I love my friends, friendship in general, I love being transparent (the more I am real, the more it gives others the freedom to be real), I love passing on the gifts I'm given, I love to give, and to teach giving, I love to see what others do creatively and I love to affirm others. I like liverwurst sandwiches with sweet pickles, Very spicy Mexican food, warm brownies under ice-cream, hot fudge, whip cream and a cherry, I like black coffee, guarded secrets, praying for friends, and giving the help I've gotten, I like forget-me-nots (maybe because of the meaning as well as their delicate beauty) I like to laugh, to tell jokes, to do what seems unconventional, to break out of the box others create and to make people think about deep, real, beautiful things, I like to enjoy every drop of the half filled glass, I like that there is always a bright side. I like to not give up! To strive, to grow and learn. I like to smile when no-one is around, I believe God does that when he looks at us. I like that when I'm down, I know where my strength is found, and I'm called there, and I'm refreshed. I like it when my friends forgive my mistakes, and I like to ignore my friends mistakes and I like that God is like that as He sees us hidden with Christ and clothed in his righteousness.