Silence

Silence…Novels are written and spoken in its melody…
At times I have hated it
(when I was ruled by fear).
At times I have loved it
(when I was hopeful).
At times I have been confused by it
(well…when I was confused).
But when I embrace the silence...
it’s as if I’m walking the halls of my mind and soul
with the Lord at my side.
As we walk,
He points things out to me.
Things I have missed in the noise of my day
Things I have set in the corner,
afraid to deal with.
I’ve found on these walks,
the things I fear
hold incredible blessings for me.
And with the Lord beside me,
I never need fear.
So when the Lord says:
“Be still and listen”,
He’s really saying:
“Come away with me, my love”.
Silence…Novels are written and spoken in its rhythm…
As we walk
In the quiet
I’m learning so much
I want to capture every thought
I don’t want a bit to pass away.
I want to remember
and enjoy the steps we’ve taken together
As if the gems of insight
could be fashioned into a beautiful necklace
to be worn throughout my day
or as a song I could hum
when I need to feel His nearness again.
So I write…
I write the words He spoke
in our silent walks
I hear the rhythm
and the melody again in my mind
as the pencil caresses the paper
and then again
as my keas click with my touch.
Typing is my favorite.
I love to close my eyes
and type the words
as tears stream down my cheeks
the Lord sits with me when I write.
Like two friends remembering a journey
they’ve traveled together
still he’s teaching me
still I’m listening
still embracing the silence.
Silence...novels are written and spoken it it’s melody…

Stolen Away

I saw myself being picked up

and sitting on the Fathers lap.

My head resting on His chest.

I knew this time had been given to me.

I knew the Father stole me away

and brought me to a spacious place.

All attempts at pulling me back

were deflected.

This was His time

with me.

Time to eat honey

and wild locust.

Time to refocus.

Time to listen,

just to listen…

and be refreshed.

Still the picture of sitting on His lap…

”She’s mine!”

His hand holding others away.

Togetherness.

Adoring.

Safety.

Focused.

Protected.

Still water.

Powerful covering.

So close I feel His heartbeat.

Affection received.

Demands only a distant noise.

I am growing stronger

as I rest.

Weeping

from loves focus,

truth penetrating,

deeply

to affect my core.

Lies and masks exposed,

removed,

made powerless.

Identity, restored.

Nothing demanded,

love exchanged.

Stillness.

Hope growing,

peace that sustains.

Empowerment

fear crushed

and faith growing from the ashes.

Unshakable vision

that sustains

and changes vision

like glasses

for the inferior sight,

clarity.

Truth,

light,

love.

c. Kim Damon 2013

Our Father who art in heaven

Our Father who art in heaven,

~Father of us each

and all,

intimately caring for

and protecting, 

guarding and guiding,

who lives in a high and holy place

and with those who are broken

and contrite in spirit,

hallowed be your name,

~May we honor your name

as we bare your name,

may we respect your name

and treat your name as holy

in our lives

in our speech,

in our work

in our home.

Hallowed be your Name.

your kingdom come,

~Let your love,

your rule and authority,

be the law of my life.

My Prince of Peace ,

my King of kings,

be the only  throne

and rule in my life.

your will be done,

~Father, not my will

But yours be done

In my life in my heart

in my mind

In my joys

In my trials

In my friends family and home

With all I have and desire

Let your will be done.

on earth as it is in heaven.

~Just as all things in Heaven

fall and rise by your will

Father, let all things in my life

become greater and lesser by your desire.

Let your will

(your pure love born purpose)

be accomplished.

 May my will

(my self destructive will)

never be exalted above your will,

I lay it at your feet in surrender.

Give us today our daily bread.

~We meet our own needs

so we need never wait

or trust You

for Your loving provision.

 Father,

we fill up on junk food of the world

rather than looking to you

for the feast you have prepared.

We waist away

(starving for nourishment)

filled with the rubbish of this world.

Gives us this day

our daily bread.

Oh, bread of life,

we need you today and each day,

to live and breathe and grow,

Father we give you our hunger,

fill us

this day

with our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

~Oh Father…

forgive us,

 for our sins have mounted up a debt so great

we never could repay.

And rather than decreasing our sin,

Father,

we rationalize them

and mount our debt to the sky

treating your grace cheaply

though it cost You everything 

You held dear,

Father,

forgive us our debt,

as… we… also… have…

forgiven our debtors.

~And let us cringe

as the word come off our tongue

 to be aware that we owe

the abundant forgiveness

you have given us

to others.

Father for the debt we could never repay,

we forgive everyone every offence,

willful and unknowingly against us.

Even as you suffered at the hands of sinful men

and forgave

even as we carelessly sin against you

and You forgive,

Father,

we forgive

and let the measure we use

be used upon us.

So we surrender every debt against us

Paid in full

as we stand in need of your pardon.

And lead us not into temptation,

~Oh God,

protect us from the wretches that we are.

You know our weaknesses.

Go before us

and steer us away from the pitfalls.

Lead us away from those things

that wound us

and destroy us

and those we love.

Guard the doors of our mouths

that we would not sin against you,

guard our feet

that we would not rush into sin,

guard our mind

that we would not entertain

unholy thoughts,

as they betray

our Lord.

Father lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one.

You are pure goodness, Lord,

sweep us away from the enemy,

pick us up out of deep water

and deliver us from the one

who wages war against our soul

he tempts us to leave the One we love

(to our pearl).

Father take us away

and hold us near to you.

For Yours is the kingdom

The only kingdom that will remain

and the power

the only power,

unconquerable

and the glory

to You be all the glory

now

this moment,

today all day,

tomorrow

and in this generation

and forever

Amen

We all agree

Father,

Amen

How do we get to know God and be known by Him?

David knew God would deliver him from Goliath 

because he knew God…

Jesus told a story of 10 virgins 

5 who were “foolish”

hear the saddest words in the Bible:

“Away from me, I never knew you”

How do we get to know God and be known by Him?

Pray

I didn’t want to use this word “pray”.

There were too many unsatisfying sermons on prayer...

The word has become one we have defined,

put in a box

and said, “I’m board with that”,

never to look into again,

except to retrieve routine, dutiful statements

with little or no heartfelt thought invested.

That’s not prayer...

That won’t help...

It’s not that prayer is not going to get us closer

to knowing God;

it’s just that,

we need a new word to fit the definition,

and then maybe a new definition…

Something that puts our eyes toward our Father

and meets His gaze

as we share the same breath

and enjoy the togetherness

of the moment.

Feeling like time is standing still

and wondering why you waited so long

to join Him.

Wishing to spend all time

in the moments that you share,

knowing, nothing has value

compared to being with Him

and knowing

His powerful, complete, love,

favor and affection...

All needs met,

all sorrows shared,

all sins forgiven,

all hopes fulfilled,

to bring you the deepest,

longest lasting joy.

Ahhhh, can you call this prayer?

Yes…

but then never sully the word

by putting this holy name

to any other event.

Read Bible

It’s not that it wont help to read the Bible…

but if we read the Bible

like so many things we do

(never engaging our heart, our spirit,

our imagination and our soul)

chapters will go by

without anything sinking in,

without Him

literally inhabiting the words

and healing our soul,

bringing a candle of truth

into the dark corners,

where we have been deceived

and held captive,

to be reminded of those

needing forgiveness

(releasing them to the Lord)

to feel His hand on your shoulder

reminding you of an unconfused sin

(and repenting),

to long for strength in your weaknesses

(uncovered by His Spirit

and the holiness of His Word),

to walk

and talk with the Lord,

to sit at His feet

and listen,

to watch,

as our Master models a life

surrendered to the Father

and weep for want of righteousness…

It’s not that “reading your Bible”

will not help you know God

and be known by Him,

we just need to re-define

our time with the Lord

as we read.

Spiritual Disciplines

“Now”, you say…

”now, there’s something I can DO!”…

but not with that attitude,

will you draw closer to God.

When we fast

or deny ourselves of food

or fleshly pleasures

it’s not with an attitude of earning

our righteousness

or ability to stand before God,

but rather,

with a desire to weaken the flesh

that the spirit within us

may be strengthened.

When we long

with our heart, soul, mind and strength

to be closer to God

when we nourish the spirit

and weaken the flesh

we will find one

stronger than the other.

As the two battle within,

it is the stronger one that wins,

the stronger is the one you feed.

Then,

to spend ourselves

on behalf of others,

to unchain those

who are oppressed

and to feed the hungry,

loving and honoring others

above ourselves,

this

is how Jesus behaved,

this

is a fast the Father will regard

and reward.

This

will bring us closer to God.

Quite Time

There is no substitute for having

a quiet-time.

To get to know someone,

you must spend time with them,

best without distractions…

the problem is,

in every human,

earthly relationship we know of,

we walk into a room

and if the person is present,

we may choose to spend time with that person,

or walk out.

But God…God is everywhere,

all the time...

So the possibilities are limitless (literally).

When we think of “quiet time”

it’s limited to a sort of “date night”

that (as all married couples know),

are often pushed to the not-as-important,

non-existent happenings,

or worse, a task, checked of the list,

instead of a passionate exchange,

guarded, relished, and cherished,

a time to steel away together with your love.

As Jesus “stole away often”

to be with the Father.

But let’s let “quiet time”

be added to

“Loud time”

And let’s call it

“all time”!

Yes…

Let’s spend “all time” with Him.

He want’s to give us

Stillness and peace

in the midst of noise.

Not just escape from it.

He wants to walk with us

in the midst of trial

as well as ride the roller coasters

of life with us.

So let’s let the time we steel away

to be alone with God

be born

out of our desire to focus on

Him alone

and raise our awareness

to many times each day

He is standing by to help,

bless and just be near us

(His bride).

Go to Church

Surely going to church

will secure our ticket to Heaven…

Right?

Um, not like that,

sadly no.

If you go out of duty…

Well, someone once said:

“If you play beside the pool,

You might get wet”

But with this God thing,

If you want to get to know God,

You need to dive in!

Like when you feel yourself

judging others,

Or feeling scrutinized by them,

You have the wrong focus,

To put your eyes on God

and ask Him to help you

focus on Him

not others…

then you will see the others

in the light of His love.

Suddenly, the playing field is leveled

and you see in others

what God sees in them.

Then the music…

Oh the music…

Can I just say,

it’s like magic

the way it effects your heart.

God uses it to wash you,

to melt you,

to lift you

and teach you.

Once you take your eyes off your self

and off others,

and put them on God…

That’s when the magic happens…

Don’t like the word?

Get over it!

I’d say miracle,

but people are tired of that word too!

They save that word for things like

winning the lottery

or having cancer healed,

but use the word

if you realize it means

every moment of every day

God is working to bring about good for you.

To cause you to see His loving hand

in your life

and in the life of others,

Then you’ll go to church

because you get to,

not have to,

and to celebrate the grace

and mercy

and salvation

together with the others lost souls

who have gone through the desert

and found an oasis

with water

and food

and shelter

enough to share.

When you go

because you can’t wait to celebrate

with those other broken and thankful souls…

then you get it,

then you will come to know God better

for having gone…

Doubt [2nd in a series of 4 written for Holy Week)

If you hear the word doubt,

I know who you think of…

if you Even hear his name,

You think of doubting…

But Thomas was not

the only one who doubted…

Like when my brother died…

I knew he would have been healed,

if only Jesus had come…

But He didn’t!

How could He stay away

and let Lazarus die!?..

If He was the Messiah!

Would He have caused such pain?

What would you think?!

Then there was the betrayal...

And the beatings,

And His death on a cross...

Like a criminal!

What would you think?!

Sure He healed people…

And taught with authority…

[quieter]

And made me feel like I had worth…

Like…

For the first time ever!

But He died!

Let’s face it,

He died!

They yelled their insults at Him!

and He just stood there!

and took it!

What kind of Kingdom King was He?

What kind of Father

would let His son be treated like this?..

Was I a fool about all the rest as well?

To think I had value!

and that God could forgive all my foolishness?

Oh, God!

Please don’t let it be all a lie!

Surely this “too good to be true”,

[quieter, trailing off]

Is not …too good to be true...

God was it all true?

Oh God,

Answer me!?...

I want to be

all that He made me…

feel I was.

But how could He leave me?!

How could He die?!…

God!

Who will “save us now?!”

[quieter, trailing off]

How can He save us now…

Fear [1st in a series of 4 written for Holy Week]

Hello,

I’m sure you know me.

My name is Mary.

But I thought you might like to know

Some things about me…

I used-to-be paralyzed by fear,

unable to experience peace,

to enjoy quiet,

or to find rest

before I met Raboni.

Jesus cast out the demons

that darkened my days

and shrouded my nights

with thoughts of death.

Light and life

and freedom and love

had been given to me.

And I cherished every day

listening to His teachings...

It was incredible,

that He would speak my name.

Yet now…Now…

It’s too horrible to imagine…

all they have done to Him…

I keep seeing His face…

Those loving eyes...

The suffering…

How could they punish

someone so loving?

His life has been stolen away…

What…will become of me, now?

Just as they hated Him,

They hate all of His followers!

Are the others afraid as well?

Honestly,

I’m terrified

I feel lost and alone.

I’m not paralyzed by fear…

But I’m taunted by it.

Oh, Jesus…

The light

The love

The peace

The joy…

How could they have betrayed Him?

I thought they couldn’t kill Him

unless He had chose to die.

Surely His Father would not allow His death.

Yet, I watched Him die.

And what about His kingdom?!

Oh, that His kingdom would come…

God help us! Help us…

Fullness of Joy ~My cry, the Lord's faithful reply

Fullness of Joy

Oh Lord 

I have heard 

“in your presence is fullness of joy”

-faith makes me believe these words are true 

but grieving leads me to long for this place.   

Is there a place free from pain?  

 I do not doubt the existence of Heaven, 

but surely Lord you see my tears.   

Surely, they beckon you to me.   

Will this joy come and dispel my tears?   

Will you not come and share this place with me?  

 If there is fullness of joy in your presence, 

then equally as true, 

there must also be fullness of sadness in your presence.   

A true embracing of all that exists that should be grieved over.   

All that hurts, 

all that dies, 

all that is unfair and grievous.   

Surely you know all and have even wept yourself.   

So this "fullness of joy" 

that seams to stand contrary to my pain,

makes me feel as if I could not be in your presence 

and still grieve. 

The words taunt me.   

Surely my tears are the doorway to your presence. 

 I weep for my sins, 

for others pain, 

for my pain, 

for injustice, 

surely you weep for all this as well, 

so this “fullness of joy” 

must include tears 

and an awareness of pain 

and an embracing of all that hurt.

Weeping…  Please answer me…

My Daughter, your pain is not joyful to me.   

And I sit with you in your grieving.   

So this joy in my presence is not what leads others to laughter, 

it’s a well being, 

a knowledge that all is well 

and in my hands.   

Know that grieving is not sin 

and not absence from me.   

But rejoice in your sadness 

that joy will come in the morning 

and there will be a fullness of joy 

when we walk together by the crystal sea. 

 It will help you to yearn for that day 

as you battle the trials today,  

knowing that on that day 

all this will be a faint memory

and all eternity 

will build on those moments 

we share together now.   

We can cry together, 

laugh together 

and hope together 

as we spend time together.   

Rest in the knowledge 

that all you see 

is not all there is to life 

and great joy awaits you 

on that day.

c. Kim Damon 2008