to all who are eagerly waiting for him

 He will come again, not to deal with our sins, but to bring salvation to all who are eagerly waiting for him. Heb. 9:28

Sometimes when I read a sentence,

I immediately know how it ends,

sometimes, I worry what the end will say,

and then sometimes, I'm really challenged by the end.

This one took me through the latter two.

First, I worried,

then I was challenged.

Do I "eagerly" wait for him?

Like a child for Christmas morning,

cant sleep, 

are distracted with excited anticipation?

Then I am totally aware of my habits that distract me.

God said the difference between the 5 wise virgins,

and the 5 foolish ones,

was a matter of oil in their flask,

but I studied oil,

to see what God meant.

It's not about the oil.

It's about the heart of the one 

who dreams of their beloved,

and really knows them,

who longs for their return,

who keeps watch,

who keeps the prophecies of Revelations,

who keeps their clothes close at hand,

who gives to the poor,

who visits the sick and the one in prison,

who considers how they might stir one another on to good deeds,

who loves God most,

who is running the race to win the prize.

Not the one who just hangs out with Christians.

Not one who just prays and prophecies in his name,

but the one who get's to know him now.

Someone said, 

they wanted to be lead by the principals of the Bible,

but we are asked to hold the hand of the Holy Spirit,

and be lead by his very presence.

To have ears to hear,

and walk in his ways.

My frustration wants distraction.

waiting hurts.

life hurts.

people hurt.

But the Holy Spirit desires to sit with us in our hurt.

To give us his very nearness in our hard times.

When you feel God near you,

it's so good you would pay any price to enjoy the experience.

And we are offered this feast for free.

Yet, there is another offer.

It's a counterfeit.

It's sometimes called entertainment.

Sometimes, your phone,

sex,

money,

alcohol,

drugs,

family,

shopping,

and the list of idols goes on.

Everyone of these things can be a helpful gift,

or they can be an idol.

"Peter, do you love me more than these?"

Jesus asked.

but I always hear: 

"Kim, do you love me more than these?"

God, I do,

and I'm too honest to not admit,

sometimes no, I also don't.

"So today, if you hear his voice,

do not harden your heart."

Never mind Meriba,

I need to hear his voice,

and pray my heart will 

"not grow hard in the time of testing."

If Jesus tells us to pray something,

we would do well to obey.

I know plenty of believers with cold hard hearts.

My job is not to judge,

it's to pray it wont happen to me,

keep my oil flask full,

waiting eagerly for him,

love him more than everything.

With all my heart,

all my soul,

all my strength,

all my mind.

and consider how I might spur others on.

Treasure?

Is your treasure a noun or a verb?

Is it a thing

or a thing you do?

This is not semantics

or my attempt to play with words

(which I do ((so)) enjoy)

but a desire to peel back our outer layer

and discover our inner want,

for me, and if you like, for you.

The surface desires for stuff,

has an enormous stronghold on hearts,

and I both hate it, 

and if I'm honest, 

I also love it.

I love shoes, and clothes and art supplies, 

and matching accessories 

and shopping for fresh new, 

beautiful things!

But Jesus said:

"for where your treasure is, 

there your heart will be also" Mtt 6:19-21

And I have learned, 

Jesus is always right.

John Piper said to:

"treasure Jesus above all else,

because God is most glorified in us,

when we are most satisfied, in him."

Do you do this? 

Take thoughts about what scripture says 

and what happens in real life, 

and ask God for wisdom,

ask what faithful affection looks like,

and how to take these contemplations

into family celebrations of Christ's birth,

with holiness, and glory, and worship?

Isaiah says God promises to give people 

hidden treasures and riches stored in secret places!

Paul tells us that if we are raised with Christ, 

we are to seek what is above,

think about what is above,

not what is on earth.

Love 

who is above 

long for who is above, 

desire and crave, 

cherish and adore, 

who is above.

The fear of the Lord is our treasure,

and wisdom is more valuable than gold,

so,

God, will you be glorified in me,

will you purify my affections

and put your majesty in my sight,

so much so, that I disappear,

and only You are seen;

so much so, my longings,

are swallowed up in worship

to my King, The Lover of my soul.

God is (after all)

not our hobby.

He is our betrothed.

God help me as I surrender to you

and treasure you,

to glorify you. 

Amen

Jesus is the radiance of God’s glory

 Jesus is the radiance of God’s glory

like the glory of the sunrise? 

or the glow of a campfire. 

Like the glistening sun off new fallen snow? 

Or like Majestic mountains and roaring oceans. 

Like shooting stars and the dancing sky of the aurora borealis, 

Like the smell of fresh baked bread 

or the smell of cloves 

(I always have to close my eyes and drink in the aroma). 

Is it like the sound of crashing waves 

or grand symphonies? 

All so glorious! 

Or like I traveled through a desert 

and I’m finally offered water so I drink deeply. 

but these only a glint, 

the reaching out of the glow of God, 

the beckoning of His radiance, 

calling my attention, 

to my Maker, Savior and King 

We humans stare in awe, 

speechless in wonder, 

tears of humility 

knees week with frailty 

our frame aware of the power of God. 

I envied Moses up on that mountain, 

coming down with God’s glory all over his face. 

but we all with unveiled faces, 

reflect that glory. 

We are crowned (!) 

with that glory. 

There’s a crown to lay at his feet! 

Jesus is the radiance of God’s glory 

and the exact representation of his being 

Like, I love Monet 

by beholding his art. 

And I adore Spurgeon, 

because of his words. 

and some people know my kids, 

because they resemble me 

and share my mannerisms. 

but those all just a glimpse. 

just a type of this, 

because Jesus 

is the exact representation 

of the Father’s being. 

That’s why He told his disciples, 

“Whoever has seen me, 

has seen the Father.” 

Because the way Jesus behaves 

toward the poor, 

the sick and broken, 

makes me adore him, 

and makes me know the Father better 

and trust him more! 

because in his great glory and goodness, 

he laid the foundations of the earth, 

sustaining all things by his powerful word, 

and provided purification for my sins, 

and he is seated in a high and holy place, 

yet, with the broken and humble. 

How could I be invited 

into that compassionate intimacy? 

He has even given us 

his very great and precious promises, 

so we can participate in the divine nature! 

God, has set him above his companions 

by anointing him with the oil of joy 

And so we worship him, 

and adore him in complete surrender. 

Paying attention 

(as warned) 

lest we fall away. 

And in humble awe 

we live to the praise of His glory. 

Kim Damon 

Hebrews 1:3

Barely Hanging On

 Barely Hanging On

Sounds like impending doom

but faith whispers the Lord's promises.

He said:

"I will lose none of those he has given me,

but raise them up at the last day."

 He promised to raise me up.

So when my strength feels tired,

and my mind feels full.

When my heart is conflicted 

and I feel the effects of isolation.

I listen closely,

and hear his voice.

"Nothing can ever separate us from God's love."

"Nothing"

I'm tempted to make a list of all the separating things,

all the reasons I can't feel His love,

but this says "nothing" and goes onto clarify:

"Neither death nor life,

neither angels nor demons,

neither our fears for today

nor our worries about tomorrow-

not even the powers of hell 

can separate us from God's love.

No power in the sky above or in the earth below-

indeed, nothing in all creation

will ever be able to separate us

from the love of God

that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

and I'm encouraged.

I spend some time repenting from my steps away,

from my acts of disobedience, and I hear:

"You have abandoned your first love.

remember how far you have fallen.

Repent and go back to what you were doing at first."

More time in prayer.

Not like reciting a dutiful set of words,

but pouring my mournful heart out

to the lover of my soul.

and I know He receives me.

and as I come to him,

I know he comes to me.

And as I seek him with all my heart,

He is found by me.

No longer barley hanging on,

but carried.

How gracious is our God and Lord.

How profound is his love.

He said:

"I live in a high and holy place,

but also with the one who is contrite and humble,

to revive the spirit of the lowly 

and to revive the heart of the contrite."

The Feast

 In my study,
fasting informed
a feast.
Not merely indulging hunger;
Rather a savoring
of God's glory
kindness and goodness,
brought me to 
understand,
I have never
feasted.

A glimpse of Communion past,
a flash of 
Julie McCorman's
dessert table
(maybe)
But never have
I ever
feasted.

Then God gave me an image.
I sat at the table
and the warmth from my bowl 
lifted to my face.
The aroma filled my senses
and I lifted a taste to my lips.
At first touch to 
my tongue
tears welled in my eyes.
I turned and along the table
I saw my Great Grandma,
my Grandma and Grandpa,
and my Dad.
I saw my nephew
and my friend.
I saw all who had gone before me.

And then I felt him.

The glory of the Lord 
was at my side.
And as I turned to face Him,
He poured wine into my glass,
as tears streamed down my face.
He wiped them away,

and knelt down to meet my gaze.

Face to Face
all my life,
every prayer I had prayed
all my sorrow and pain,
were just moments we had shared together.

The brightness of His glory,
the melody of
His Voice,
the rhythm of His breath 

and heartbeat
and mercy
all filled the air

and joy I have never known,
we all enjoyed
at just the first 
bite.

c. Kim Damon

Rest

Mom would say it when I was sick

maybe with a hand on my forehead.

Something you long for when pushing through 

a full day, or week, or year.

But there's a deeper meaning than just physical.

Rest can be mental and spiritual.

A mind that is racing with worry and fear,

regret, and self-loathing.

A spirit that feels forgotten by God,

or worse, unloved by Him.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened."

Unloved by Him?

These are His words.

Jesus is the friend who comes along side the weary soul

and offers help; 

offers a solution.

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

He offers a solution.

When I'm tired, it's generally 

because I haven't taken Him up on this sweet offer.

Our humble, gentle hearted friend,

who longs to labor with us

who longs for us to learn from Him,

still makes the invitation.

Shalom dear friends!

"Today when you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts"

The Alter

Father,
I lay my addictions 

before you today.
Help me with fleshly 

distractions and hungers.

Phone
shopping
news
social media
alcohol
fried foods
sweet treats
caffeine

Father, 

help me to bring my attraction,
and magnetism of soul
to your alter, 

and release them to you.

Surely I was set free to walk in freedom.

I want to be sparked into 
the flame of action
by your Spirit alone.
I want o rest in the peace of gratitude
and rejoice in the 

God of my salvation 

alone.
I want to love you 

with all of my heart
all of my soul
all of my strength
all of my time
all of my money
all of my attention.

God, I want to love you with all 

that is within me,

and all at my disposal
for your glory 
and for my joy.