Friday, June 21, 2013

What good is silence, if you cant hear the Lord

Rest for the ears is good,
a break from sound.
Making peace with self is good,
but one can be too introspective.

I heard the words:
What good is silence
if you cant hear the Lord?
Be still and know that I am God.

I am compelled to retrete
to quiet places,
but is it the quiet of my youth,
playing alone till
single parent father
returns home?

Is it the quiet of my
early motherhood,
longing for stillness
a break
from busy bodies?

Is it the quiet
from my "mountain top"
where I hear His voice
know His nearness
experience His glory?

Or is it the awkward,
"Will I hear Him?"
from my most everyday

Have I become content
with busying my daydreaming mind
on trailing off,
nonsense prayers,
sometimes not remembering the beginning
at the end?

Is it the not-enough-sleep morning
where my coffee
is my dearest companion
rather than the glory of the Lord.

A beating against the wind,
a religious task.

God protect me from going through the motions.
Protect me from auto-pilot quiet time,
that is ritual and routine.
I want to meet with You
and hear Your voice.
More than want,
I crave,
and rely
on Your voice,
to speak into the darkness
and create the Light.

Take my tumultuous life
and bring purpose and order
to my chaos.

God I come to the silence,
not to excape the sound,
but to meet with You.

Please remove
my separating sin,
my debilitating distractions,
and focus my eyes on you.

You have not run out of things to say.
I have not grown beyond Your teachings.
Speak Lord,
for Your servant is listening.

Faithful One
True and Honorable
comes to meet with you.
I do not come as a visiting king
who leaves his castle to visit other lands.
I come as a King
who is your companion and guide.
In the noise,
and in the silence
I speak.
I am near.
You must choose distractions
or My voice to lead you.

The more you are still in the silence
the more you will hear.
The more you turn your thoughts to Me
in the chaos of your day,
the more equipped you will be
(both for yourself,
and for those who need your input).

Let my words be scattered like seeds
and fall where they may,
I will bring the growth,
I will produce the fruit,
and we will rejoice in the harvest.

Be still and know that I am God.
Draw near to me
and I draw near to you.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Is anything too hard for me?

I read it in Jeremiah:
"Is anything too hard for me?"
So I thought of all the things I wish...
are after all,
just unspoken prayers.
And He hears the sighing of our heart...
So what makes my heart sigh?
My sin,
My family,
that hold captive
those I love.
And I hear the words again,
"Is anything too hard for me?"
The words wet my eyes,
I hear love in those words.
I feel Him asking with a hurt tone.
My faith is so small.
His words tenderly assuring me,
He knows.
He's working.
He knows...
He knows...
He's working.
He knows...
He cares.
So many tears...
the name "Almighty"
was created to
explain what our faith
sees so dimly.
Surely it's why we only hope
and at times fail
even at that.
At my core,
I know the answer,
Nothing is too hard for you, Lord.
In that truth
is rest.
God asked,
so I would have to answer
and remember,
so I would internalize the answer...
All the stuff I cant do,
He can.
Faith grows in the light of this truth.
Often I walk in the shadows.
I need to remain in the light
and peace
of this truth.
Nothing is too hard for Almighty.
Help me Father to remember
so I will enjoy your love more
Enjoy your favor
Enjoy your sanctifying
for myself
and my family.
God stretch my mind
to hold this truth.
It's true
weather I enjoy it or not.
This truth is not changed by my faith in it
or lack of faith.
But when I feel this truth
am changed.
I want faith big enough
to know this truth.
Wrap me up in it,
Nothing is too hard for you.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Know Your Place

Sounds like something
a parent or a teacher
would say to me as a child.
I hear the words,
Not to tell me
my pride needs to be quelled,
Not to say
I need to be brought low
but in regards
to where I should be.
To be found
sitting beside the Lord.
Soaking in His love
and all He has to say.
I need to put others in their place...
Not with mean words,
but in my mind
not letting them
(and their words)
take any place before the Lord's words.
Listen, yes
Love, yes
but not applying their values
to my heart.
I still hear my dad's harsh words,
My teachers insults,
I still long to find their approval and praise.
I know I had self-worth
at some point
when I was a child
but they all chipped away at my identity
until I doubted myself
and became insecure
with fear of rejection.

I still long for fellowship.
But God,
protect me
from those who tend to block my view
of you
they distort my feelings about myself
and the world and You.
Help me to put them in their place
by staying in my place
(close to you)
so close,
that it's your whispers I hear
above the sounds of human voices
and help me to value your thoughts
above all.
Perhaps this is desert fruit.
One of the reasons I'm here
have you allowed this season
for me to learn my place,
protected and loved
at your side.

c Kim Damon 2013


When I think about church
and close friendships
or the lack there of,
I see the isolated
place God has brought me.
A sort of desert,
all alone.
God has brought me?
I asked myself that as well.
Am I sure,
this place,
(that seems so dangerous)
is a place God would want me?
Then I remembered:
Psalms 66:11-12
 You brought us into prison
    and laid burdens on our backs.
 You let people ride over our heads;
    we went through fire and water,
    but you brought us to a spacious place.
And I remembered the first time I read that...
I re-read it over and over.
Did that just say that?
God, have your brought me
to prison with heavy burdens
so that I would love this spacious place?
I never thought of a desert as a spacious place,
until now.
I do hope and long for fellowship,
yet this new desert home
is so strange
I also walk around exploring the terrain
with a childlike curiosity
for all I am meant to learn here.
Who was here before me
and what did Abba desire to show them?
I'm not afraid
just surprised
and hopeful for what God will do here.
God, keep me close
and teach me
all you desire me to learn here.

c Kim Damon 2013

Turn Around

I heard an illustration once
about a cat
having its fur pet
in the wrong direction.
As painful,
uncomfortable and wrong
it felt for the cat,
it hurt the human as well.

In the illustration
the human is God
and we
are the cat.

So what's wrong with this picture?
God is never wrong.
So we,
(as the cat)
need to turn around.

I thought of this
when I was joyfully
washing up breakfast dishes,
I couldn't have been enjoying myself more.
How strange a feeling
of peace and joy.
Because at one time,
I hated washing dishes and cleaning.

I thought about the cat,
and realized
I turned around.

It was always right
for me to be helpful
and to serve others
but it only felt right
when I turned around.

I realized my life
is the story of me
at many stages of
turn around.
And my litmus test
(of peace and joy)
is God's grace to me.
When I feel wrong and unsettled
I'm pointed in a direction
that's not God's best for me.