Fullness of Joy
I have heard
“in your presence is fullness of joy”
-faith makes me believe these words are true
but grieving leads me to long for this place.
Is there a place free from pain?
I do not doubt the existence of Heaven,
but surely Lord you see my tears.
Surely, they beckon you to me.
Will this joy come and dispel my tears?
Will you not come and share this place with me?
If there is fullness of joy in your presence,
then equally as true,
there must also be fullness of sadness in your presence.
A true embracing of all that exists that should be grieved over.
All that hurts,
all that dies,
all that is unfair and grievous.
Surely you know all and have even wept yourself.
So this "fullness of joy"
that seams to stand contrary to my pain,
makes me feel as if I could not be in your presence
and still grieve.
The words taunt me.
Surely my tears are the doorway to your presence.
I weep for my sins,
for others pain,
for my pain,
surely you weep for all this as well,
so this “fullness of joy”
must include tears
and an awareness of pain
and an embracing of all that hurt.
Weeping… Please answer me…
My Daughter, your pain is not joyful to me.
And I sit with you in your grieving.
So this joy in my presence is not what leads others to laughter,
it’s a well being,
a knowledge that all is well
and in my hands.
Know that grieving is not sin
and not absence from me.
But rejoice in your sadness
that joy will come in the morning
and there will be a fullness of joy
when we walk together by the crystal sea.
It will help you to yearn for that day
as you battle the trials today,
knowing that on that day
all this will be a faint memory
and all eternity
will build on those moments
we share together now.
We can cry together,
and hope together
as we spend time together.
Rest in the knowledge
that all you see
is not all there is to life
and great joy awaits you
on that day.
c. Kim Damon 2008
c. Kim Damon 2008