"but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing" Psalm 34:7-10

I can breath better

in your presence, Lord.

Does anything evolve into something weaker,

something less equipped to survive?

Like,

are any Pokémon ever worse 

after they are reborn?

I am more trusting,

more patient,

more long suffering,

but also alive and well

are the things that distract,

the appetite's of the flesh.

I think only those destined for corruption

evolve into something worse,

and still,

I know I have a delightful inheritance,

so why the increase of darkness's lure?

Why the strength of my spirit, 

not feeling more focused?

Is God so illusive, 

that he cannot be known,

Yet,

even as I write the words,

"But I know Him!",

shouts (from the depth of my soul).

Tears.

Repentance.

Rest.

I'm so sorry, Father.

I'm so sorry.

I can see you said to love you most,

even with all my heart,

all my soul,

all my strength,

and to have no other gods

before you,

to protect me.

All other loves lead to bondage,

all other masters,

are crewel.

Like drugs or other addictions

"the first one's free."

the first time seems great,

the first one opens the door

to those we would never welcome in.

    The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, 

    and he delivers them. Taste and see that the LORD is good;     

    Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.     

    Fear the LORD, you his saints, 

    for those who fear him lack nothing.

        The lions may grow weak and hungry,

        but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

And even as I experience the safety, 

and the relief of your promise to protect,

even to forgive and cleanse,

these words "lack no good thing" 

typify the temptations

of this season of acquisition, 

where we call the day after we give thanks 

"Black Friday",

because we put 

the sellers of goods,

in the black for their annual income.

we can't focus on the Lord,

with so many things to buy,

so many loved ones to please,

so much money needing to be spent.

So many bills,

so many wants.

But God whispers:

Come sit with me a while.

Come,

my children,

listen to me;

I will teach you the fear of the LORD...

turn from evil and do good.

Those who fear the Lord are radiant,

they lack no good thing.

We do not renounce giving gifts to our loved ones,

or Christmas shopping,

rather:

Let's pray for holiness,

for the affections of our soul,

to be singly compelled to Christ

and Christ-likeness.

Let's pray the intimacy we have with Christ,

will be light in the darkness 

for those who are hurting, lonely, and lost,

even those we love.

 Jesus replied, 

“‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’                 

This is the first and greatest commandment.                                                                     

A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’                                             

The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

This command is well known
not one I need to be taught,
or need to learn to obey,
rather it's a litmus test.
I hear it's echo in my heart,
"Are you loving him more than these?"
"Are you loving them, more than yourself?"

Today as we hear his voice,

we are to focus on the Love of God,

and ask God to fix our affections,

for it is Christ who works in us both 

to will and to do his good pleasing and perfect will.

to all who are eagerly waiting for him

 He will come again, not to deal with our sins, but to bring salvation to all who are eagerly waiting for him. Heb. 9:28

Sometimes when I read a sentence,

I immediately know how it ends,

sometimes, I worry what the end will say,

and then sometimes, I'm really challenged by the end.

This one took me through the latter two.

First, I worried,

then I was challenged.

Do I "eagerly" wait for him?

Like a child for Christmas morning,

cant sleep, 

are distracted with excited anticipation?

Then I am totally aware of my habits that distract me.

God said the difference between the 5 wise virgins,

and the 5 foolish ones,

was a matter of oil in their flask,

but I studied oil,

to see what God meant.

It's not about the oil.

It's about the heart of the one 

who dreams of their beloved,

and really knows them,

who longs for their return,

who keeps watch,

who keeps the prophecies of Revelations,

who keeps their clothes close at hand,

who gives to the poor,

who visits the sick and the one in prison,

who considers how they might stir one another on to good deeds,

who loves God most,

who is running the race to win the prize.

Not the one who just hangs out with Christians.

Not one who just prays and prophecies in his name,

but the one who get's to know him now.

Someone said, 

they wanted to be lead by the principals of the Bible,

but we are asked to hold the hand of the Holy Spirit,

and be lead by his very presence.

To have ears to hear,

and walk in his ways.

My frustration wants distraction.

waiting hurts.

life hurts.

people hurt.

But the Holy Spirit desires to sit with us in our hurt.

To give us his very nearness in our hard times.

When you feel God near you,

it's so good you would pay any price to enjoy the experience.

And we are offered this feast for free.

Yet, there is another offer.

It's a counterfeit.

It's sometimes called entertainment.

Sometimes, your phone,

sex,

money,

alcohol,

drugs,

family,

shopping,

and the list of idols goes on.

Everyone of these things can be a helpful gift,

or they can be an idol.

"Peter, do you love me more than these?"

Jesus asked.

but I always hear: 

"Kim, do you love me more than these?"

God, I do,

and I'm too honest to not admit,

sometimes no, I also don't.

"So today, if you hear his voice,

do not harden your heart."

Never mind Meriba,

I need to hear his voice,

and pray my heart will 

"not grow hard in the time of testing."

If Jesus tells us to pray something,

we would do well to obey.

I know plenty of believers with cold hard hearts.

My job is not to judge,

it's to pray it wont happen to me,

keep my oil flask full,

waiting eagerly for him,

love him more than everything.

With all my heart,

all my soul,

all my strength,

all my mind.

and consider how I might spur others on.