I'm not judging you, but maybe I used to.

I'm not judging you,
but maybe I used to.

Do not judge, or you will be judged.
For with the same judgment you pronounce,
you will be judged;
and with the same measure you use,
it will be measured to you.

If those words do not cause you pause,
you either NEVER judge others,
or you read it too fast.

The truth is we are constantly
making assessments in life.
It's part of how we interact with others,
how we take information in,
and how we process things.

The trouble is,
Jesus gave this warning for a reason,
and we should take his words seriously.
He is the judge!
If he said this is how he's going to do it,
then he means it.

OK, all that is pretty heavy.
Truth is,
that was just the foundation
for what's really on my heart.

The Lord healed me from judging myself!
In a time of weakness and brokenness,
he showed me how much he loved me.
and in doing so,
he taught me not to judge myself anymore.

He helped me look at myself
with the same measure of grace,
I give others.
I realize this is the inside out of the scripture I started with,
but it's truth deep truth.
It's the heart of God that we not be judgmentle,
Jesus said to love others the way we love ourselves,
but if we struggle with self-loathing,
he was not saying to hate others the way we hate ourselves.
I had a core disease that needs to be healed.

For many of us, this bondage to self destructive thoughts
contaminates our relationships.
Well, back to the healing.
When God gave me a revelation of his great love for me
(even in my brokenness)
taking hold of me "by his righteous right hand"
and "helping" me, [Is41:13]
it transformed my mind and spirit.
I gave others even more grace,
I saw them differently!

Suddenly, they were on my team,
as I was on Jesus team,
all of us undeserving of this glorious grace,
all of us dearly loved.
I had given myself freedom to not be perfect,
when I saw God's love for me
was not based on my perfection,
but on his perfection.

His perfect love,
took hold of [broken] me,
and loved me.
All of me.

"Wait! Wait." You might say.
"All but your sin!"
What sin?
The stuff I so foolishly choose in moments of weakness?
That is not me.
He knows that,
and I'm learning that.

There will be a day that God will separate me from sin,
but until that day,
he washes my feet.
And as unworthy as Peter felt,

I feel.

Yet,
I surrender all my daily grime,
and He shows his great great love for me
by kneeling down and washing my feet.
"No Lord, no!"
[my heart cries],
yet, I know I'm his,
so he must.

and the tears
and his sweetness
make me want to sin less,
and make me want to follow his example.
and wash other's.

I pray this precious love of our Lord,
will penetrate and transform,
any linger self loathing,
that's sets it'self up against the truth
of God's affection.