My ten years ago photo would be so beautiful, 
so thin, no glasses, no grey hair, or scars. 

I thought about all the improvements 
I can see in my friends contrasting photos, 
and tbh, 
I was sad that my improvements would not be visible. 
Don’t get me wrong, 
I’m glad for my friends who look better today. 
But I went on a mental quest to “see” 
the improvements in myself. 

I was surprised at how much had changed 
over the last decade. 
If I could, I would have words of wisdom 
(to help my past self).

Dear (ten years ago)me,
Soak up every moment you get to spend with your children. 
In ten years you will have an empty nest. 
Also, 
one day, you will have time to paint. 
You will have less laundry to do, 
and you will travel. 
Your kids will be great humans! 
They will all take different directions for their future, 
but they will remain kind, 
and loving 
and will each make you proud.

Brace yourself...
you will get cancer, 
but God will help you, 
and you will not die.

You will run into a deer with your motorcycle, 
but God will help you 
and you will not die. 
One of your kids will go to rehab 
(and do the things that lead him there) 
but God will help you 
(and him), 
and he will be better for having gone. 
Two of your kids will move to Colorado, 
but God will help you 
(and them) 
and they will be better for having gone. 
You will change churches. 
At one point, you thought that was wrong, 
but God will lead you 
and help you, 
and you will be so glad!

Be kind to yourself. 
You will gain some weight, 
need glasses, 
and get some grey hair, 
but God will heal you from self loathing 
and teach you grace, 
for self and others. 

You will make new friends. 
Tim will still love you 
and you will still love life. 

You will count yourself rich, 
because of your friendships and family. 

And every hard thing, 
will be a learning experience 
and the doorway to incredible blessings.

Stay close to ABBA, 
he will always keep you in his care 
and deliver you from every fear.

Much love,
Future you