Impossible Things

I want to do big impossible,
miraculous
things today(!)...
while praying about this,
I realized,
overcoming my gift for procrastination
and ignoring piles of things
I don't want to deal with,
would be a miracle.

A friend who cleans our home bi-weekly
came in last week
(while I was cutting my son's hair)
she asked:
"Is there anything you can't do?!"
My funny (but true) answer was telling:
"Yes. Keep a perfectly clean and organized home!"

So today.

My goal is not to reach perfection.
I'm much too honest ((even in my optimism))
to reach for that goal.
My goal for today,
is God's to-do list (for me).
To see the tasks
that fall out of my reach
(without the help of God).
And then to tackle them,
with His help.

Pray for me.

Looking for love, in all the wrong places

Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
but who is pure in heart?
Is that even a thing?
It must be, right God?
It must be...
I confess though,
my love is not pure.

I get mixed up
and love stuff.
Love gets mixed with lust and idolatry.
The love of the world
(deceptively) creates hatred
for the constraints of pure love.
The love of my eyes
blinds me to pure love.

So who will rescue me?
Who will fix, what I
perpetually, break?
Is all hope lost?

We sing:
Purify my heart, Oh God..
David sang:
Test me and try me
(longing for God's unfailing love to fix him).
We are told to love God
"with all our heart, soul, mind and strength"
and this is our best, highest, purest,

wish.

Why wish?
I wish, like I long for a thing
(so beautiful and perfect)
so pure,
it seems impossible.
I only want it.
I only wish.

Like a child who still hopes
a miracle will happen,
and it might come true.
Untainted by repeated failure.
Untrained by the world's lies.
Pure love.

So can I go back?
Can grown-up me
get that pure heart back?
I do (after all) want to see God.
Ironically,
The purest love I have ever known,
was extended to me by God.

He has shown me pure love,
He demonstrates it for me daily,
and if I keep my focus on Him,
His love changes me.

Bit by bit.

At times it feels like one step forward
and two steps back,
but God is patient with me,
and each day, He brings me farther
along the path to pure love.

Think about that,
daily, I'm closer,
daily I'm better.
I wont reach 100 percent pure,
on earth,
but one day,
He will finish what He started,
and until then,
I give Him my heart continually,
and ask that He fix it.
I surrender my longings,
and ask that He only give me
what's best.
I look to Him,
(the lover of my soul)
and He purifies my heart.
As I go about my life
I keep my best love for Him,
and He teaches me
(in His patiently persistent manner)
to love with a pure heart.

A little discomfort is not a bad thing

As often as we eat

out of boredom,

and are rarely hungry.

As often as we speak

without giving pause,

and fail to truly listen.

As often as we give-in

to cravings of the flesh,

(never hungering and thirsting

for righteousness).

We have lost something.

In our haste,

we rob ourselves

of rare treasure.

Waiting on the Lord

brings great gain.

Seeking God with all our

heart, soul, mind and strength,

takes some effort

some discomfort.

Have we,

in this time of

instant everything,

lost the art of

longing?

Given up our right

to indescribable joy?

Oh God, forgive us.

Us, because we all fall pray

to this deception.

Is there no good thing worth waiting for?

No treasure worth spending yourself to gain?

No good, you would sacrifice everything for?

Yes.

Yes, there is.

Father forgive us.

Father forgive me.

Father, transform us,

in spite of ourselves,

for your Name's sake and glory

and for our greatest good. 

Amen