A dark thought

Could I share a dark thought

that really helped me?

Like usually,

I can't say dark things 

without making those I love sad,

but I feel like you guys will get it.

OK, here goes:

I was reading survival rates and side effects of the surgery(s)

that lie in front of me,

and I thought

(as I wrestle to get up off my recliner

because my back hurts)

what if this is the best I will feel this year?

Even though this season is making me weak,

what if this is the most strong I will be

for the foreseeable future?

Well,

it helped me want to get up.

And put my house in order,

and write letters

and say what should be said...

and I thought you guys would get it,

and maybe that would help someone else

as well.

Also, taking baby steps,

and being kind to myself

when I need to rest.

Seize the day,

and God grant you peace,

my dear friends! 

xoxo