Did I really believe my self when I said
"I'll just go for a run"
(as I grabbed the second glazed donut)?
OK, maybe for a second
But I ate it anyway, and enjoyed every bit of it!
Committed to not feeling guilty,
as I'm being set free from body shaming
and I was not gorging myself gluttonously.
(Look at me being defensive about it though!)
Anyway, back to my point, I lied to myself!
I actually had no intention (beyond the first second)
of doing what I told myself I'd do (go for a jog).
It got me thinking,
how many times do I tell myself things,
to convince myself to do things
I might regret later?
Hm... Dare I say: Regularly!
But could it be,
this person (me)
who is committed to Truth,
who delights in honesty and transparency,
would lie, to myself?
Jeremiah 17:9 says:
The heart is more deceitful than all else
And is desperately sick;
Who can understand it?
I do not understand what I do.
For what I want to do,
I do not do.
But what I hate,
He told the church in Rome:
with my mind I serve the law of God,
but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.
So what hope do we have
(with all this war going on against us?!)
Funny... Paul said that too:
What a wretched man I am!
Who will rescue me from this body of death?
Now, I know what you were thinking:
How did we get from donuts to death?
it's not that far of a stretch.
If I can convince myself to eat sugar,
which I know is not good for me,
(even though it's not a sin)
then I need to be aware of my inner voice
and the lies that proceed from it.
Colossians warns us to:
set our minds on things above,
not on earthly things.
Kind of like my clock,
if I don't first set it,
there's no chance it will randomly wake me in the morning.
I must be intentional.
My mind is the same way.
Like Paul who made his mind a slave of God's law,
I must set my mind on the things of God,
then my body may stray,
but not for long,
I will repent,
and get back on track.
Kind of like my donut
or should I say donuts!
My diet is made up of mostly healthy food,
with the occasional
But I get right back on track
as a healthy eater.
I need to be this way in faith.
I want to be wise.
I might (successfully) deceive myself
but I live a fully committed life
I don't be little my sin.
I know it's a dangerous thing,
but I don't let it cripple me,
or taint my identity,
and move on.
John said if we confess our sin,
he is faithful and just to forgive us our sin,
and cleans us from unrighteousness.
That's so cool.
So I pray (like David)
search me Lord,
and try me,
see if there is any offensive ways in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
God make us wise.
God make us holy.
For your glory.