Alone?

When I think about church
and close friendships
or the lack there of,
I see the isolated
place God has brought me.
A sort of desert,
all alone.
God has brought me?
Yes...
I asked myself that as well.
Am I sure,
this place,
(that seems so dangerous)
is a place God would want me?
Then I remembered:
Psalms 66:11-12
 You brought us into prison
    and laid burdens on our backs.
 You let people ride over our heads;
    we went through fire and water,
    but you brought us to a spacious place.
And I remembered the first time I read that...
I re-read it over and over.
Really?
Did that just say that?
God, have your brought me
to prison with heavy burdens
so that I would love this spacious place?
I never thought of a desert as a spacious place,
until now.
I do hope and long for fellowship,
yet this new desert home
is so strange
I also walk around exploring the terrain
with a childlike curiosity
for all I am meant to learn here.
Who was here before me
and what did Abba desire to show them?
I'm not afraid
just surprised
and hopeful for what God will do here.
God, keep me close
and teach me
all you desire me to learn here.

c Kim Damon 2013