Ambivalence

Ambivalence.

It looks a little like surrender,
but it's not.

It's an evil twin.

When I surrender (a painful struggle)

to God,

I'm trusting Him to bring about His will.

I'm ready to walk where He leads.

When I (instead) am hurt by

something,

I'm tempted to stop caring about it.

Choosing to be cold
and unfeeling
and even uncaring about it.

I want to keep my heart engaged.

I'm also wanting to surrender
and come under God's protection.
His covering (for my heart).
I don't want to close my heart down
and just not care.

God protect me from ambivalence.

Help me to think right
interpret, right
process, right
and bring You glory.

Only by Your strength.

Only in Your will,

I surrender.

How do you (yes, you the reader) feel about this?
I'd love to know.