When I woke with things that disappoint me swirling around my mind, I quickly found peace with the decision to lower my expectations. I would just give nothing. And I would expect nothing. I found a peace in that thought. I would no longer wish for things because it made me sad to not see there fruition. I got ready for my day and sat down with my coffee to read. As I prayed and spent time with the Lord, something didn't feel right. I had just lowered the bar, for everyone in my life and for myself so I wouldn't be disappointed. I think I even lowered the bar, for God!
I couldn’t help but feel God would not have me expect less, in order to be happy. In fact, I don’t think I expect enough! The bar should be far higher than I set it (for myself, for others and for God). But even as a child I found this little trick worked great; if I expected nothing, I couldn’t be let down. So it felt natural, and it made sense.
Yet, if God wants the bar higher, if He wants to do more, than all I can ask or imagine, then what's the problem? Could this be the right response... to ask the right question? What's the problem!? What stands in the way of God's will? For me, for others, for God. Let's take them one at a time.
For me: If I cant do what I feel God has called me to do, should I just stop trying? Assume I imagined His will (all that I feel he has in store for me)? Or ask: What stands in the way God? Change me, change the atmosphere, teach me. If I just give up, and lower the bar and decide to do nothing, God is not glorified, I'm not full of joy. I stop striving, but there is a pressing in, a preparing for, a responsibility to the gifts He's given me. I must never give up. My feeling like a square peg in a round whole, is not a reason to give up. But to rejoice, He has a plan, I must pursue. Confession, prayer, longing for, surrender and pursuing all bring God glory and are the pathway to His will.
For others: If I lower the expectation for others, I may not be surprised by the result of low response (or no response). But I'm not calling to the things God has placed in them. I'm not seeking all the good, God has in store for them. I'm not hoping for longing for and rooting for the best for them. That brings no glory to God, no benefit to others. It only saves me a temporary impatient disappointment. Instead, I need to hope, for all things. Build up and encourage, while I commit them to the Lord and seek to speak the fit word at the right moment.
For God: If I give up on the things I long for from God, I am no better than the five foolish virgins who fell asleep while they waited on the Lord and had brought no oil to relight their lamps (upon His return). I must be ever ready to walk obediently into the things of God. And continually thankful for the small things at hand while I wait for the big things I perceive on the horizon.
c Kim Damon 2013
c Kim Damon 2013