Saturday, October 2, 2010

Fullness of Joy

Fullness of Joy

Oh Lord I have heard “in your presence is fullness of joy”

-faith makes me believe these words are true 
but grieving leads me to long for this place. 
Is there a place free from pain? 
I do not doubt the existence of Heaven, 
but surely Lord you see my tears. 
Surely, they beckon you to me. 
Will this joy come and dispel my tears. 
Will you not come 
and share this place with me? 
If there is fullness of joy in your presence, 
then equally as true there must also 
be fullness of sadness in your presence. 
A true embracing of all that exists 
that should be grieved over. 
All that hurts, 
all that dies, 
all that is unfair 
and grievous. 
Surely you know all 
and have even wept yourself. 
So this fullness of joy 
that seams to stand contrary to my pain 
makes me feel as if 
I couldn’t be in your presence 
and still grieve. 
The words taunt me. 
Surely my tears 
are the doorway to your presence. 
I weep for my sins, 
for others pain, 
for my pain, 
for injustice, 
surely you weep for all this as well, 
so the “fullness of joy” 
must include tears 
and an awareness of pain 
and an embracing 
of all that hurt.

Weeping… Please answer me…

My Daughter, 

your pain is not joyful to me. 
And I sit with you in your grieving. 
So this joy in my presence 
is not what leads others to laughter, 
it’s a well being 
a knowledge that all is well 
and in my hands. 
Know that grieving is not sin 
and not absence from me. 
But rejoice in your sadness 
that joy will come in the morning 
and there will be a fullness of joy 
when we walk together 
by the crystal sea.
It will help you to yearn for that day 
as you battle the trials today. 
Knowing that on that day 
all this will be a faint memory, 
and all eternity will build on those moments 
we share together now. 
We can cry together, 
laugh together 
and hope together 
as we spend time together. 
Rest in the knowledge 
that all you see 
is not all there is to life 
and great joy awaits you 
on that day.

I will wait for that day Lord. 

As one waits expectant for the sunrise.

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